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Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
18 March 2010 @ 07:32 pm

There's this jellyfish called Turritopsis Nutricula that regrows after being divided/injured & matures to a point up until it reverts back to it's nonmature state. This thing has spread all over the world. These stupid fish only die when ingested, assuming digestion can stop them for good.    
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
02 April 2009 @ 11:58 pm
You Are Bert
Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
18 February 2009 @ 06:25 pm
As per usual, despite my loudly popping ears, tremmering muscles, creeky air-fans (meant to drown out the airplanes/cars/dogs/chatter/trains outside my window), and digestive issues, I managed to fall asleep.. and stay asleep for about a minute, before something (likely my ears popping) woke me up; when I got back to sweet sleep again, my dreams were vague and taunting and light, until I woke up about an hour later or so. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I just went ahead and did my morning 7 1/2 mile walk.. if my hope were to shrink to any thinner a size, I fear my sanity will tip over on me. Life's too much as it is for me, right now, without these random sleep-issues.

And too many onions, I've been eating recently.. I've been hurting so much... even less sleep, NOW!!
Kill me. let me sleep.
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
05 August 2008 @ 10:35 pm
Ask any of the characters I roleplay a question (whether it be about sex, life, the apocalypse, etc) and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer. Feel free to ask them ANYTHING, regardless of whether you know their canon or not. You may even ask them as your own character (this meme is open to any and all journals). They will respond accordingly. You may ask as many characters as many questions as you want.

Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: 'Valentine's Day,' by new&emo!Linkin Park
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
15 June 2008 @ 06:32 pm
What song lyrics would you love to have written, and why?

The song 'I'm Alive,' by the fantastic band Disturbed:
Never again will I be dishonored
And never again will I be reminded
Of living within the world of the jaded
They kill inspiration
It's my obligation
To never again, allow this to happen
Where do I begin?
The choices are endless
Denying the sin
My art, my redemption
I carry the torch of my fathers before me

The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away
There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice
To change myself, I'd rather die
Though they will not understand
I won't make the greatest sacrifice
You can't predict where the outcome lies
You'll never take me alive
I'm alive, I'm alive
I'm alive

Change again, cannot be considered
I rage again, dispelling my anger
Where do I begin?
The choices are endless
My art, my redemption, my only salvation
I carry the gift that I have been blessed with
My soul is adrift in oceans of madness
Repairing the rift that you have created
I am not alone, brothers, give me your arms now

The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away
There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice
To change myself, I'd rather die
Though they will not understand
I won't make the greatest sacrifice
You can't predict where the outcome lies
You'll never take me alive

I'm no slave
Are you feeling brave?
Or have you gone out of your mind??
No more games
It won't feel the same
If I hold my anger inside
There's no meaning
My soul is bleeding
I've had enough of your kind
One suggestion: use your discretion
Before you label me blind...

The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away
There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice
To change myself, I'd rather die
Though they will not understand
I won't make the greatest sacrifice
You can't predict where the outcome lies
You'll never take me alive
I'm alive, I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive

Go download it.. now. Right now.

Or this song, my second favorite, by Linkin Park, 'Breaking the Habit':
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safer in my room
Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one
Who battles always choose
‘Cause, inside I, realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

Cultured my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again

I don’t want to be the one
Who battles always choose
‘Cause, inside, I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'll paint it on the waaalls
‘Cause I'm the one that faaalls
I'll never fight agaaain
And this is how it eeends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

They're both songs I could'a, should'a written.. just 'cause.
Current Music: 'Breaking the Habit,' Linkin Park - 'Like a Girl in Love,' Spice Girls
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
11 June 2008 @ 04:56 am

Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
Behold... My Future
  I will marry Daniel Radcliffe.  
  After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Chicago in our fabulous Shack.  
  We will have 3 kid(s) together.  
  Our family will zoom around in a Red Truck.
  I will spend my days as a Word processing, and live happily ever after.  
whats your future
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
I had a weird dream two nights ago that medicine was taken by a machine with a mask you breathe through, and I decided the prescription I was getting wasn't what I preferred, a.k.a. an evil anti-manic. When I got there( to the upper-level of what appears like Manards or Home Depot, and might've been.. though I haven't been to either in nearly a year), while my mom was talking with a guy who worked there, I hit 12 (or was it 21?) instead on the keyboard-type interface, and start stoning to meds that weren't prescribed to me. After a while I returned (the following day or next moment?) and breathed in a little of that. I got worried for my health and concentrated to see if anything had been damaged, and I realized my brain was tingling numb. I woke up at that point.

1. I stay up 'til the birds come out at about 6 to scare away the bugs making the screaming noises outside my house near the lake my dad unexplainably demanded.
2. Just as I fall asleep, at 7 sharp, when he leaves for work.
3. Construction wakes me up after I fall asleep after that.
4. Gotta wake up around 11 to walk a mile before fourth period class.
5. Plot how to murder dad.

Seriously, schedule's been this way for months.. is this really alright? I get like three hours a night of sleep.. I only walk a couple miles a day and don't have much stress in my life, and I daydream a lot; that means it's alright, right?
Current Mood: exhaustedtired..
Current Music: 'Perfect Enemy' & 'Clowns' by Tatu
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
04 January 2008 @ 10:24 pm

Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
22 September 2007 @ 02:28 pm
Alright, I'm taking commercial art this term; it starts at a time that's screwing with my body's many schedules (sleeping, pooping...)
Every weekend, I gotta take bunches of laxatives.
I drink two gallons of water, eat all/mostly-natural food, and pleanty of raisins each day, along with one/two tabespoons of mineral oil. This sorta thing shouldn't happen to me, of all people...the phobic nutter.

but anyways, the nice teacher let me borrow some of her books...one of which was The Art Therapy Sourcebook, which recurringly tensed me up. I either got memories or paranoid-jealous rage, and stuff. And now I'm thinkin' once again about what S' said last term/year: "BE a psychologist? Don't ya mean you're gonna NEED a psychologist???"
So, more recently, I asked my mom, and she agreed with me about this sorta logic: "Well, I am inclined to agree with you..." Gee, THAAANKS, Mom..
Doubt, doubt, DOUBT.
But it's the job I was meant to have since preschool.
Whadd I do....??????????!?!?!?!?!?


My dad insisted on having a talk with me, where he acted all understanding and adult-ish.
I told him I loved him, and listed most of the big reasons why I hate him.
I hate myself for being so gullible; I should really call back m conscience. She would've stopped me, made me tell him to frick off.
Ah well, at least I knew he was gonna report back to Mom. And I knew it was because of his worry he offended his highness, aka...Mom.


Ya know, I was kinda expecting a sorta...euphoric sorta notion when I re-entered highschool as a senior? But then nothin' happened.

And I miss E'.
In that emotionless sorta way I tend to do.
She's definitely gonna be a better psychologist than me. Or, at least, go to a much fancier school.

Sketched up on canvas a sketch I had done a year and a half ago. I thought I scanned it, but apparently it's lost. 'Might paint/finish sketching, this weekend.. but it'll have to be at night, since I don't want those two recurringly askin' me what it's about.
It's called 'I Lo' You Too, Dad.'

Ah yes, it makes my ego coo in contentment when I write about non-internet-related stuff... I gotta get my DevART account renewed.
And gotta gather all the stuff needed to start that band account on

I should have a boyfriend by now. Not that I actually like people or have a sex drive or anything, but my ego hates me right now.
I'm a lousy person, without my conscience.
(But, darnit, I won't be bossed around no mooore!! This is good! ARGH!! Stuff keeps fallin' outta my head and into my mouth and actions and stuff!)
Seriously, though, just how interbred IS everybody here? I'm darn sexy! What's occuring with this???
It's senior year... T_T# (I have a big ego; it needs lots of feeding, and it gets tiring feeding it nearly all of the time. I'm pretty, darnit -,-U)
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: 'Outlaw,' by Dipset + 'Lookin Like That,' by Westlife+'Out of Control'Hoobastank
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
03 September 2007 @ 04:49 am
Put your music player on shuffle.
Post the first 40 songs that come up. You can repeat artists if you want. If you have any repeat tracks, skip to the next track.

1. "Girl Like You" - Smash Mouth
2. "Hoodie" - Lady Sovereign
3. "Be Mine" - Wild Orchid
4. "Want" - Disturbed
5. "Guilty" - The Rasmus
6. "Welcome To My Life" - Simple Plan
7. "I'm Not Okay" - My Chemical Romance
8. "Let You Down" - Three Days Grace
9. "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley
10. "Time Of Dying" - Three Days Grace
11. "Story of My Life" - Smash Mouth
12. "You Found Me" - Kelly Clarkson
13. "So Far Away" - Crossfade
14. "One Step Closer" - Linkin Park
15. "How I Feel" - Kelly Clarkson
16. "Together" - Avril Lavigne
17. "She Will Be Loved" - Maroon 5
18. "London Bridge" - Fergie
19. "Don't Stay" - Linkin Park
20. "Shukufuku" - Cast of Love Hina
21. "Everything About You" - Three Days Grace
22. "Everyone Must Get Stoned" - Bob Dylen
23. "The Getaway" - Hilary Duff
24. "Let's Get Retarded" - Black-Eyed Peas
25. "BARIBARI Otenba" - Cast of Love Hina
26. "Shake That Ass Bitch" - Splack Pack
27. "Last Night" - ? ft. Keisha Cole
28. "The Hand That Feeds" - Nine Inch Nails
29. "Single" - Natasha Bedingfield
30. "1000 Words (English)" - Kingdom Hearts...I dunno
31. "Like a Girl in Love" - Spice Girls
32. "Cure For the Itch" - Linkin Park
33. "Fields of Innocence" - Evanescence
34. "Easy Breezy" - Hikaru Utada
35. "The Truth Revealed" - Nubuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy X OST)
36. "Kryptonite" - Three Doors Down
37. "Do Somethin'" - Britney Spears
38. "My World" - Three Doors Down
39. "Alice" - Raven Symone
40. "The Dreamcatcher" - Ron Allen

01. Which song you prefer 1 or 40?

02. Have you ever listened to #12 continuously on repeat?
Yup; it reminds me of my favorite Yu-Gi-Oh pairing (protectshipping)

03. What album is #26 from?
One of the only ones I dunno 'cause I got it off limewire..^^;

04. What do you think about the artist who did #15?
She's psychotic...but then again that's why we love her, yes? ^^;

05. Is #19 one of your favorite songs?
Actually, no.. but it's one of my dad's^^; It's one of my least favorites from them (from their first two albums, that is, before they turned)

06. Who does #38 remind you of?
My dad...

07. Does #20 have better lyrics or music?
I wouldn't know; the whole darn thing's in Japanese@_@ ..or so we believe...

08. Do any of your friends like #3?
They dunno I own this.

09. Is #33 from a movie soundtrack?
Not that I know of.. of course, it'd be perfect for one of those new emo movies that have been popping up the past couple'a years

10. Is #18 overplayed on the radio?
Yes...the only one listed here, actually

11. What does #21 remind you of?
Morishipping, Yu-Gi-Oh's Tristan/Yami Bakura ^^ Gotta love those hate pairings

12. Which song do you prefer, #5 or #22?

13. What album is #17 from?
'Songs About Jane'...poor Jane @_@

14. When did you first hear #39?
When I bought the album off iTunes...kick-arse album, btw

15. When did you first hear #7?
MTV, which I rarely watch

16. What genre is #8?

17. Do any of your friends like #14?
I dunno

18. What color does #4 remind you of?

19. Have you ever blasted #11 on your stereo?

20. What genre is #37?

21. Can you play #13 on any instrument?

22. What is your favorite lyric from #30?
Lots of 'um

23. What is your favorite lyric from #23?
"Traffic in my brain's drivin' me insane; it's as much as I can taaake..!" ^^;

24. Would you recommend #24 to your friends?
Um..nah, it's in bad taste... well, actually, there is this one guy....

25. Is #2 a good song to dance to?
It's made for dancing to...in fact, it's about dancing..and wearing hoodies

26. Do you ever hear #16 on the radio?

27. Is #32 more of a "nighttime" or "daytime" song?

28. Does #36 have any special meaning to you?

29. Do any of your friends like #31?
I don't think so

30. Is #25 a fast or slow song?

31. Is #35 a happy or sad song?

32. What is one of your favorite lyrics from #9?
"My halos have a heart to the lies I wanna live.. and all I remember is thinkin' 'I wanna be like them..' Mmm, ever since I was little, ever since I was little, it looked like FUN.. and there's no coincidence I've come.. and I can die when I'm done; but, baby, I'm CRAZY~!" Aaah, instant hit

33. Is #34 better to listen to alone or with friends?
With friends

34. When did you first hear #27?
In skulpture class or on my way to

35. Name 3 other songs by the artist who did #29:
I dunno any others

36. Do you know all the words to #6?

37. Does #28 have better lyrics or music?

38. What album is #10 from?
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: 'The Hand That Feeds' by NIN
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
03 September 2007 @ 04:38 am
can't copy and paste at the moment
Current Mood: cynical...
Current Music: Smash Mouth
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
first, one of my teachers decided to open up her classroom to a about-95 degree outside, which screwed my Lithium (which, I learned right then, apparently makes you overheated...proving I've actually been sane and not hysterical all these years) and sent me into a massive panic-attack-type-thing...and cleaning up on last day was half the grade so I wasn't able to just go home.
So I ate a lot more ruffege, drank an extra gallon (each day)...and now I'm passing out another pill of mine that's apparently an anti-Depressant.
My intestines are tight and changing positions and giving itself hemroids that block stuff and all sorts of stuff...
so ya know what? I'm just gonna cut all the way down to 500 cal's a day. That'll teach my stupid intestines.
Why yes, I am partially insane.
Current Mood: crazy...
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
14 July 2007 @ 12:45 pm
If you could rename yourself in real life, what would you choose, and why?

Oo, fun...Alex, as it's the name my mom originally wanted mine to be & it means 'Protector of Mankind'...which I've kinda labelled myself.
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
30 May 2007 @ 09:57 pm
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
30 May 2007 @ 09:46 pm

You won't regret it
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
22 May 2007 @ 07:51 am
During the whole dream, me and my parents were trying to communicate with / understand (or maybe that part was just me) this ghost that was haunting us, our home( which was different from my real home, I think..).
In the end, the kid completely showed herself: a kid of about six, wearing glasses, with light-brown hair. (She looked like an alteration of a kid I see every other day on my way to school.)
I gave her a name and asked her if she liked it; she said she did. ..Seconds later, I had forgotten my name for her, so I asked her "..What's your name?"
The kid looked at me funny; I explained I couldn't remember. "Scifi Philodelphia" she said distinctly/surely/sternly.
I was puzzled for a moment--maybe that was some sorta name I had given her as a little kid( before she had been aborted...and no, I've never aborted in real life), and she had absorbed it's evaperation from heaven. I asked again, explaining "No, I meant..." I've been having trouble with word-recall again...ironically, since my homework-recall's much better then usual. Sigh, I'm insane the way that happens. After explaining myself for the second time, she echoed herself "Scifi Philodelphia." Okay, whatever, I figured; this must be a name she chose, herself.
"Oh my god!, the nasel-voice, the..." ("You're a nerd!" Does that mean I'm one too?") I woke up at this thought.
...and then I woke up and wandered "WTFH, Philodelphia?? What? I've never even been there!" WTH?? What's this about?
Side-note: A girl called me a nerd a short period of time back, like during the middle of this term. "Nobody ever called you a nerd before??" she had asked.

My reasoning for her appearing older then a fetus or one-year-old is she got older in the afterlife.
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
21 May 2007 @ 01:16 pm

Foods of the world: solo presentation of Egypt~

Ceramics: danglies of millenium ring + the rest of the bulk, then the actual clay, for Tristan bust~

It was hotter then hell at school, today; great beads of sweat were dripping out of my sleeves and I kept laughing at nothing like how I do when I perspire too much.
Current Music: 'They' by Jem
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
21 May 2007 @ 01:11 pm
I had a dream about part-time being a and part-time reading/witnessing about a some character and and an autistic kid travelling somewhere; the other character grows worried about the autistic's social-life via recurring weird and loner behavior in visits to (grey) playgrounds.
The shock of the dream changing's probably what woke me up: all of a sudden, I was reading a disclaimer-type-thing at the end of one of Nanashi Ni(fanfiction.net)'s Yu-Gi-Oh 'fics, and her saying IC how she gets her clique ideas for Tristan & Bakura from a library of hers containing old romance novels. ...Honestly, it's getting pathetic how often my dreams revert to stuff revolving around those two.
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
19 May 2007 @ 09:36 am
Hugging a random guy in lunch?
May. 16th, 2007

Three days ago: An aquiantance of mine called me to her table in lunch, stating that somebody from her table was lacking something; I heard hugs. No matter how many times I asked, I couldn't fully understand her...
"He wants [???]!"
"He wants hugs!?"
"So...huh? he wants me to hug him?"
"Just go over there!"
"Well...okay, I like hugs"
(or something like that)
So I drop the change I had in my hand in my purse, noting the odd looks it got, and went over to the guy in question, readying myself to hug him.
He stuck out a hand, and asked for that same thing. The second time around, I heard him: "Fifty cents!!!"
"..OOOH!" So I rushed back to my purse( which I had abandoned by the girl). Then returned to his side and handed him the due coins. Then stood there in a confused daze for about half a second. He shrugged and extended an arm; "..And a hug." We semi-hugged, and I went on my marry way.


Cellphone number
May. 19th, 2007 | 09:21 am

I'm in the process of creating a small bust sculpture of Tristan & realistic Millenium Ring.

Yesterday post: "So, I see your name is on my cellphone..."
"Huh? Your name randomly showed up in my phone and..."
"Damnit, Martisse~!"
She says she didn't take her name off, though.

Two days ago post: It was when I was calling my mom that I discovered one of my friend's numbers (presumably put in there when I let them look at my cellphone


I had two disturbing dreams...
May. 19th, 2007 | 09:09 am

I had two disturbing dreams...
1. To make certain thoughts stop, I cut a large sliver of my dad's skin off with a knife, while he was sleeping, one day. It was only when he woke up did he freak out and bandage it.
It was only a matter of time before one of them found the box containing the sliver of his skin (kept in the freezer just in case of a need to sew it back on him if he got infected and needed more of his own skin--wanted to keep my options open, though him dying would've been a good thing)...so, in the end, I showed my mom("Mom...there's something I've been meaning to show you..."). She was surprised, and somewhat bewildered, to say the least. I had wondered if Dad actually told Mom about his wound prier, as it's his nature to hide negative things from us until he falls into a Depression and then subliminally brags us to death, claiming he's talking about us.

2. While my parents were out, an autistic guy (who looked like my brother and talked like an autistic teenage guy I once encountered while swinging in a park) wandered into my (last, as is my subconscious's custom, )house through the basement door. I had trouble finding ways that wouldn't have been triggering/threatening to him to tell him it was rude to barge into people's houses & make his quite-unmistakenly innocent-autistic personality dangerous for me. I was aware that, while the autistics I've encountered (pretty much just my brother and that other guy) seemed aisexual and sweet, I didn't wanna take my chances making him confused/angry that I wanted him to leave...so I kinda backed away for a while, while he went deeper and deeper into the rooms of my home, glancing at pictures on the walls and commenting on them. Eventually, he came across one he really liked; he told me it was pretty, asked who made it, and asked if he could have it. He wanted me to stay with him, I subliminally felt, so I couldn't run away and wait for my parents on the cirb quite yet. "How about I set you up so you can make a picture, yourself!?" I said at this point. I basically said we could make a trade--he give me his picture and I give him that, which was actually done by me so it was gonna be especially heartbreaking to part with it. He was tickled pink by the suggestion.
He stayed put on the flood of the livingroom and colored for a while, every once in a while narrating "Haah, I'm making a PRETTY picture!", etc. Now he was occupied, I went to be ready to leave the house by the garage door (or, at least, I think that's why I went there) just as my parents came home. I explained my situation to them as best I could. I think my mom led him out.


Some coincidences...
May. 16th, 2007 | 09:31 pm
music: 'Never Letting Go' (piano) by Kavin Hoo

Some coincidences...

First: In my first class, one of the guys at my table asked for something (can't recall, probably a pencil) and when I handed one over, he whispered to his friend "Look, she's blushing.."

Second: My dad's friend told me "Well, aren't you a shy one!" after surprising us at a surplus store by poking my arm.

Third: Today/Yesterday(forgot), the friendly guy from my table whispered in my ear (as a joke) "Call me," before laughing; when I eventually started laughing too, he said "Aw, Look, she's blushing!"

They've all occured recently,( I think) this year. 'Dunno; just found them interesting.

And yes, I do have a ghost-account somewhere containing about twice as many entries as this account, Foggypebble.
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: '24' by Jem
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
My favorite, so far, has been Suicide Opposing Viewpoints, but I forgot to scan the cover of it.

Current Music: 'So Insane' by Smashmouth
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
I just now dreampt me and my family were about to drive somewhere, my parents (of course) driving. When I glanced back (in a slanted way, and I knew it was slanted/different but couldn't find another way), I discovered our sidewalk went downhill (I wonder if it was that way in our last house)...except, though I suspected it had to do with my tilted/downward viewpoint (seeing behind from a crack in the bottom of the car; probably from my mom telling me, earlier in the car, "You probably have your lap and feet memorized, don't you?"), it looked very steep. I noted I wasn't too scared of that fact, though.
For a period of time, I was thinking about my characters and the way I drew them.
4:52 AM

Stupid diet snapple iced-tea; I don't think, for tonight, sleep was meant to be.

There is one shred of usefulness in this dream...I think I'm questioning my chaotic viewpoint of them, which I've for so long looked over.

My priorities are outta whack;
My mind is lost, I want it back.
I'm so uncomfortable within,
Ever shifting behind my skin.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: tiredtired
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
30 April 2007 @ 06:54 pm
Alright, so, today, I sat at a couple different tables during lunch, being friendly/weird, to look over my somewhat-shyness and see how friendly people at this school are. Results...:
Friendly: 5
Confused: 1
Ignores: 1
Other: 1

I said I was gonna try it agan tomorrow, so I guess I might tomorrow as well.

Today's my mom's birthday.
Tags: ,
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
28 April 2007 @ 07:14 am
Alright, so this is my dream:
Triggered by end-of-the-world-appearing events in each day, night after night I kept dreaming of much worse scenarios of the previous days, and I couldn't stop the dreams. In every one of the dreams I was naked 'cause I couldn't go back to my (destroyed, in one way or another) home and retrieve clothes (though each time around I attempted to dress as much as I could in the short amount of time I had before escaping there) and sometimes had to go to this nicety-nice religious(I think; they were nicety-nice, poor--though not as poor as I, in each dream--and the wife kept whispering back to her husband about her concerns about me and why nobody had clothed me prior) couple's house, and could drive.
Twice, Dad got out--once (in the first dream/day round) he joined me in the car for a brief period; nearly each time, Mom was endangered.
In the last round, the water within the pond behind our backyard kept shifting back and forth, eventually reaching our house, where--I thought, at the time--my mom was...and, before I left the building, to top off the previous images, shocking me and my family was a dinosaur stomping dignifiedly through our front yard.

..I guess I'm having anxiety about my new "open" personality at school.

BTW, I've decided that, once Monday comes, I'm gonna start going up to random teens who are by themselves, and put tallies in my notebook of how they respond to my friendly greeting: friendly, wander off giggling, confused, other...
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
27 April 2007 @ 02:27 pm
Replacing what used to be there
With 'what should be there,'
I waste away my first and last break,
Making this fake.

This can't be, this ain't my life, mind.
Suddenly I find
This isn't how I would've turned out-
What's this about?

Leaving my thick bones, leaving me,
The fast fog breaks free.
I know I didn't open the gate;
All there was, hate.

I can't feel, can't feel my own skin;
My thoughts, my own kin.
I'm still stuck in one of my layers,
Reaping failures.
Current Music: 'White & Nerdy' by Weird Al
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
...The walls go outward;
Too far, I can't see the other world.
Quiet, as the boxes quickly disappear...

Coming back into view the sky,
Bent poles holding electric impulses high,
Vibrant colors, red behind thin clouds,
Wind returns, tickling my veins.

Biting my lip, laughter spills out of my left ear;
Delirious delusions, red eyes replace what I know should be fear.
Try to rise above it;
Turning into her, that's what she wanted.

Become one with the sky.

...The walls go inward;
Too deep, I can't reach the other world.
Crashing, all the boxes slowly stack up here...

Resting crooked, ten feet of sand,
Seasonless, motionless, too low to see land,
Breezes that found here froze, cubed, black, low,
Nail-marks scatter, undoing, slow.

Planting conscious thoughts
Might be what makes this hole's soil rot.
To preserve her,
I must bury her.

Melt into the hard ground.

Torn in two, I'm not alone,
Though I wish I was alone.
Oh, I wish I was alone.
I'll block myself off, I'll be alone.

Laughter. Crashing.

Not above, not below, not in the middle, not anywhere.
Nowhere. Quiet.
Current Music: 'Addicted' by Kelly Clarkson
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
26 April 2007 @ 09:41 pm

Tags: ,
Current Mood: drainedBeen dizzy for years...
Current Music: 'Gypsy Woman' by Hilary Duff
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
26 April 2007 @ 09:38 pm
Current Mood: sillyI made a protectshipping bar.
Current Music: 'Let You Down' by Three Days Grace
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
26 April 2007 @ 08:37 pm
I just now had this disturbing dream...
My LJ site was more popular/getting more hits then this (creepy unkept teenage) guy's. He flamed me for it, and when I checked his LJ there was only one message present: a rant about how he gets few page-hits, much fewer then "that stupid" (my username).
Feeling sorry for him, I...invite the socio over? (I recall being under that impression, being confused about it, and being frusterated with my illogical self about it.) From the fateful moment when he came through the door, I had been trying to get protection from my dad from him...following Dad around and pleading. He still held that grudge against me...and he seemed like he hadn't been around people often, maybe because of mental-illness?, which I think might've been the reason I invited him over...idiotic me.
In the end, (he had been chasing me, I was under the impression) the three of us found eachother in what I now recognize as a mid-section of a flight of split --the appearance of two (the one to the right dad had gone down, saying I didn't need help and was worrying about nothing)-- three-edged spiral stairs. The guy pinned me from behind and stuck his (freakishly long) sharp-nailed pinky-finger into my right nostrol...which hurt. Dad took forever to get upstairs and attempt to pull it out; the guy was strong.
Current Music: 'Gypsy Woman' by Hilary Duff
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
22 April 2007 @ 06:06 pm

Yay, I've created a protectshipping rainbow! ..that's too long! Ugh, gotta trim/srink it, somehow...later.
Current Music: 'Let You Down' by Three Days Grace
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
An after-image of the shadow
That used to live here
Sits and waits in the corner
Of the room.
If you squint enough, you can see her
Staring at nothing
And leaning over her desk,
Eyes drooping.

The subconscious voice keeps her moving,
Wondering in secret if it's insane
The way her hand trembles as it writes
The binary answers to old home- and schoolwork.

All their backpacks are filled with the same thick books;
Her backpack is half-open, over-flowing
With sketches of wrinkled smiles and prescriptions.

An after-image of the shy one
That used to live here
Stands and abandons the room,
Passing groups.
If you squint enough, you can see her
Picking up her books
And not forgetting her desk,
Eyes drooping,
Life looping.

A repeating cycle, imprinted
Into the chalk-colored walls
Long ago, runs out it's quiet course,
Textbooks stacking taller every year.

There's always only one answer;
Pretty soon, there'll be nothing left of her.
There's always only one answer;
Pretty soon, there'll be nothing left of her.
She's just not all there.
There's always only one answer;
Pretty soon, there'll be nothing left of her.
She's just not all there.
There's always only one answer;
Pretty soon, there'll be nothing left of her.
She's not all there.
Not all there.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: pissed offMy neck HURTS like HELL!!!!
Current Music: 'Just Like you' by Three Days Grace
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
21 April 2007 @ 10:47 am

My neck aches like you wouldn't ever believe...
Current Music: 'Nobody's Home' by Avril Lavigne
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
21 April 2007 @ 05:52 am
I dreampt me and my parents moved to a highly lumpy (square-shaped/grassy) place.
Mom kept reciting demented poetry in her sleep regarding the weird dreams she was having, and in the end Dad showed up in the dream and I poked awake to show him what Mom was doing. He was confused about the poetry as much as I.
The poetry rhymed, and mostly real words were being spoken, if it means anything.
Everytime my dream got confused, I'd fall (from a high distance) face-up into the lowest part of the grassy place.

I wish these dreams would stop.
Tags: ,
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
18 April 2007 @ 01:27 am
Current Mood: weirdproud
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
18 April 2007 @ 01:19 am

What I call home's shrunk to the size of my head,
Leaving behind negative-space.
Fairwell, Friend; you've raised me well and I'll remember all you've said.
I'm leaving home, but not going someplace.

Well, this is my first time without my conscience,
And I'm getting kinda lonely.
Likewise, I'm sure, and, while my mind's eye eyes that now unguarded fence,
It starts to set in that there's only me.

Without you filtering me with their voices,
I see the world's not seasonless,
I'm allowed to sense the stretched outline behind her hard, cold choice.
Heading back there, I realize this is bliss.

Coming back, with my new, or old, friend,
My conscience, outraged and jealous,
Abandons me, and the shadows on the curved, white walls start to bend.
Yes, this is who I am: rebellious.
Current Music: 'Fallen Horses' by Smashmouth, repeat (in my head)
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
17 April 2007 @ 10:51 am
I just now dreampt I found a version of myself (in a enclosed/simple/maybe dark, place..I think) who used to be my friend when I was a kid/preteen, "dead inside" and friendless. The question of whether or not life's real or imagined sprouted up in my mind at random, at some point, mildly creeping me out on a deep level.
She apparently lives, or gives off memories from, my iTunes player; old songs, which I haven't listened to in years and are in my "least listened to" folder.
She told me to do, or not to do, something...like, listen to...something...Eck, I can't recall much, now. Anyways, I've been having a row with my conscience again ("How DARE you boss me around! Your advice makes NO SENSE, and you sound like That Depressive!!") and I think this is an omen regarding it. After all, the Conscience does somewhat live in the subconscious, I believe...

I swear I've dreampt of some of these elements before. The last one revolved around childish/colorful computer-games that were dangerous to play because they brought on simliar "creepy" feelings. I had that one nearly several months ago, though.
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
17 April 2007 @ 08:13 am
I just now dreampt I had just dreampt about an uncomfy "trapped in my subconscious/dream" dream...which took place in an endless grassy valley and contained bookcases of weird, flat/cardboard-ish things, and one (or two) w/ trophies. I had the impression, after I "woke up," that it was either a flook or meant something important.
It was a big point, in the dream, that there were two versions of my parents (dream and real,) and that one knew of the subconscious-world and the other didn't(which was a good thing).
I think it was meant to mock the "trapped" dreams I used to frequently get, as a kid/preteen.
I dunno if it was part of the dream or a memory I retrieved before I went to sleep, but I recalled dreaming about holes/tears showing up in my kindergarden-times dreams( as well as recently).
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
16 April 2007 @ 10:11 pm
Aaand Anime-club's been cancelled again. Mom's starting to wander if they were just affiliated with anime-expo or something and quit on us, faithful weekly-members.

I was out on the back balconi(sp?), taking my nightly pace-stroll, trying to ward off my troublesome leg-issue...and, after about an hour, I began to hear a lady's voice from far away: "Why are you outside!?" ... "Are you okay!?" ... "Why are you there!? Why are you outside!?"
So...I guess the neighbors have been getting the impression I was locked out, every other/night. Now I feel guilty.
Mom suggests I pace earlier, as I might be waking people up. All the more people to worry for their weirdo-neighbor. Eck. I do love pacing so, so what shall I do, now?

I went to school w/out my mill. ring AGAIN, 'cause I not only keep losing it bit my mom, though I turned out to be very early, thought we were gonna be late, to my 1st (2nd) period. It's an uncomfy/unclean feeling, not wearing it.
I also keep forgetting/misplacing my glasses; twice, so far, this week.
My memory scares the che outta me sometimes. Literally; it's always been like this, my memory...actually, it's been far worse.
Current Mood: sadOops
Current Music: 'Stoned,' by Smashmouth
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
08 March 2007 @ 11:22 pm
Monday: I missed the anime club after school 'cause I had an appointment to get my eyes checked. Holly cow do I apparently have bad eyes (looking far away).
Tuesday: My left eye is still diolated, despite my right having already healed (and, yes, it looks cooler then it sounds)...so I guess I'm staying home, due to blurri..er vision.
Wednesday: Nobody commented on my new glasses...Egotistic as I try not to be so much, I couldn't help but notice. - They're brown, which should match the majority of my wardrobe; I'm getting my, more expensive, dark-green ones in ten days. - I nearly lost my purse-thing due to the weird not-like-myself feeling I was having all day...stupid idiot that I am.U (<<sweatdrop) Today: 'The hell? All but three other students showed up for my third period class 'cause of a game? ...Nobody tells me ANYTHING! I wanted to have gone~! - Whatever; my dad and me went to GameStop and got me the PS2 games: 'Tak and the Power of Juju,' 'YuYu Hakusho: Dark Tournament,' 'Yu-Gi-Oh: Duelist of the Roses,' 'Yu-Gi-Oh: Capsole Monsters(or something like that...and yes, that was one I wasn't aware my dad had in the stack, and it doesn't look good),' and a Final Fantasy one I can't recall the number of. ...Woo! Today was VERY preductive! The substitute didn't directly answer me about anything, but, after a while, she gave me permission to call and go home. And it's just as well--I had forgotten to wear my mill. ring, today. Not that that's really relivant to anything. ...Yep, I plan to wear it every day. I dunno how many people will be at school tomorrow. I recently had an OOBE dream featuring me falling (downward, I think,) through what looked like white, lit up sheets of paper. I eventually saw one or two holes in them so I think those were what I was falling through. Definitely more light then the dark-grey labyrinth with multiple demensions and a morbidly powerful "lost and trapped" feeling I used to get in my preteens... Oh, dreams are my favorite topic to talk about; they're nifty things...can predict the future, show aspects of yourself you had forgotten, fulfill things you can't get in the real world.... Ulch, I ramble too often.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: 'Not Like the Other Girls' by The Rasmus
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
15 February 2007 @ 06:49 am
I dreampt the horse girl from my first class and I were outside a building, in "a parking lot" (a.k.a. a place mostly composed of grass), and it was pitch-black out. I had a compulsion to use a portopotty (despite me not having to do anything) that was placed in between us, in the short distance.
"No! I'll do it" she says (I'm not sure if I was aware she was there...to the left of me...or not), rushing ahead of me to the stall, explaining to me that there's a safety-button I can push to make sure nobody's already in there (because public portopotties are unsafe like that)...but, when she demenstrated for me by pushing the button I had been too far away to see, I'm surprised/annoyed to realize a woman's voice had to instruct the greatness and usage of how the button functioned, before it'd work for us (like a brief commersial.)
Before I turned away, I see a thin, petite, white figure run past the visible part through the door of it, which I noted she didn't notice upon approaching (perhaps being to focused on talking to me to.) It is kinda startling, signalling that maybe the stall isn't safe.
Oddly/Selfishly, for my dream-personality, not being worried for her safety, I find myself walking far away from her and the stall...perhaps back into the building? This odd dream-behavior reveals to me just how jibberish-y and not related to anything this dream was; my REAL "subconscious-counterpart", if you will, is always trying to rescue large numbers of people. ...Or maybe that was the point: I was particially possessed?
I recall wanting to "wait it out" and see if I should really be so hesitant about using the portopotty; the whole dream reflects bad judgement on my part & ablivious generousness on the horse girl's part. ...Basically, my typical dream-character roles have been completely switched around.
I manage to scare myself outta the dream enough to exclaim in a different setting "Whoa, this sorta stuff's really good for subliminal messages!" (I'm under the impression someone, maybe one of my parents, is beside me...to the right...and will respond positively.) I'm then stuck right back in for a second more, before I get to wake up. I guess this was a passing thought so side-tracking it managed to stop the dream.
I woke up at (according to my computer) around 6:00AM....This is gonna be a sucky term; this is not gonna stop. My new schedule's toying with me.
Tags: ,
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
27 January 2007 @ 09:27 am
I'm stopped up in my nose; I think I'm sick.
Also, I just had a nightmare trying to return to sleep: someone(Dad?) brought a curse/illness from the night into my home. Some people in the house either turned into aliens(symbolism = I guess I'm sick), I think, or disappearing, and my mom and me got the distinct impression all this was being caused by ghosts. Only when the process, according to my brother's confusion with the curse failing in him and only managing to make him almost-fully disappear about 3/4s of the time, was in full affect could it fully possess the cursed. ..I have no idea why there were other people in the house, or even who they were. Eventually, I got to wondering if I could trust that my mom was really trying to get my brother back and was frightened like me, or just one of the possessed (in another, more direct, way) trying to infect me with the curse. ...Yep, I guess I'm sick, then.
Current Mood: sicksickly
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
26 January 2007 @ 01:20 pm
I dreampt of this really fun RPG--I'll assume it was WoW due to the monster-killings in the end and the bueatiful scenry--where, near the beginning, I had a pet(living furry) sled (which was my bodyguard at the beginning/middle of the game, and got bigger as the game progressed) which I rode down the hill from the game's starting point (a cabin of some sort?) everytime my REM stopped/started. Near the nearing-middle of the bueatiful epic game, one of my parents (odd how I can't recall which, as they both always play such different roles in my dreams) decided to find out about how I was doing and if the game was good for me or something to that accord...said parent was puzzled enough about the unique bodyguards the game started players with, who even allowed themselves to be road, that said parent got ME puzzled...and probably confused my dream's makeup so much it either transitioned to the near-end-of-game point or switched to this one vvv.
I must've woken up completely at some point, 'cause the dreams all changed to Tristan (from Yu-Gi-Oh) moping in/near the Hello Kitty dept. (where my mom first offered to by me a babyish little, soft-pink Hello Kitty storage-container-box-thingy,...or was that one my dad?, and then my mom showed me a slightly bigger Hello Kitty container to buy me, which she cued at just as much as my dad cued at the smaller container and I told her irritably NO...until she opened the box, which turned out large and elaberate, and I was suddenly compelled to say yes) of a generic store over how he's unpopular in his fanbase and Serenity doesn't love him. ..Or maybe it was Kuwabara (from Yu Yu Hakusho) talking about Yukina, seeing as how the character's hair was more reddish then brown. .. Apparently I think the two animes steal characters from eachother. ..Which they do. Probably also induced by the dub-voice LittleKuriboh(?), from YouTube's most famous Yu-Gi-Oh mock-dubs, sounding like Kuwbara's messy big-dumb-guy voice..though the intent was Barney, from the kiddie-show, I think.
I now miss my bodyguard and one of the players I teamed up with near the end. And have reason to think I'm understresed to the point of brattiness.
Current Mood: sickHeadache never leaves
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
20 January 2007 @ 08:55 am
Just now, I had a dream about my house having intelligance which dealed in controlling an alternate universe which more and more doors sometimes led to, where there were floating bits of ground and moving colorful (some red?) rings (like Saturn's, I guess) around them. There was an evil voice in the universe and, near the end revealing, a gentle( ,good,) voice that meant no harm in another part of the universe. In the end, before I woke up, giving up on trying to get my parents to leave, I made an attempt at running away. For some reason, I was a kid and, though not that young, was sometimes crawling. Eventually, I snuck out and got to the land surrounding the house to the north of our backyard, but ultimately gave up in defeat that I didn't want to be kidnapped by any perverts...and came back to the door.
I wonder if this is the unpleasant dream I've been trying to recall and stop for the past week?

My subconscious is forever finding new ways to destroy me, including giving me these senseless dreams.
Current Mood: tiredJust woke up & a little dizzy
Current Music: various Evanescence
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
31 December 2006 @ 12:06 am

Aw right, nine December donation items! My mom is the best!

Alright, what the heck? Why are gift-giving and the shops closed?
Current Mood: happyproud of my Gaia-cosplay
Current Music: 'Get Back' by Ludacris
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
30 December 2006 @ 11:26 pm

Ow, ow; oh, I just hit my head
On the end-table, near my bed!
My vision's going blurry
And I'm really starting to worry;
I really do this way too often.
I guess I'm clumsy;
I'm just a little clumsy.

Why does this happen
So freqently,
I now and then wander.
Lifeless objects seem to be,
Simply put, against me.
The last time I had my eyes checked,
They said my eyes were fine.
Maybe they're lying.

Ow, ow; oh, I just stubbed my toe
On the floor, which hurts, you know!
It is always the same one,
Covered in bruises, the rest have none;
I really do this way too often.
I guess I'm clumsy;
I'm just a little clumsy.

A gruesome cycle
Is what it is,
How I'm easily hurt.
How I figure this is, see,:
First I hit part of me,
Then it grows, numbs, into
An easier target,
And then I forget.

Ow, ow; oh, I just poked my eye
With my hand, 'wanna know why!
Talk about inconvienence;
Big, red dots hide things in the distance.
I really do this way too often.
I guess I'm clumsy;
I'm just a little clumsy.

I am so clumsy
As you've witnessed.
It's not funny, this song,
Not fully, true as it is.
My reason for this is
I hit my head just now
And I shouldn't sleep now.
I can't recall how.

Ow, ow; oh, I just hit my head
Yet again; in back, instead!
I guess I will end this here;
Another lump starts to appear.
I really do this way too often.
I guess I'm clumsy;
I'm just a little clumsy.
I'm really, really clumsy.
I hate being so, so clumsy...

A day went by; I'll
Finish writing.
This isn't a lie, I swear:
At school, today, I fell,
Hit my head, felt unwell.
Was asked "Are you okay"
By a guy beside me.
Oh, what's wrong with me...?

Okay, I should see a doctor,
Both for my eyes and head!
That lump's getting number;
I hope it's my eyes, instead
Of my mild autistic traits.
In my mind, I will create
In my subconscious
A better alertness
So I'll stop doing this.
Now I'm getting listless
So I'll end this "song" here.
If you'll excuse, I can't see clear,
But 'cause I haven't slept in days, though.
Bye now, I gotta go...

Ow, oooh, stupid table!!
Am I really so unable!?!?
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
30 December 2006 @ 11:24 pm
Alright. More things to add to the grand list of things about myself that scare myself:
1. I chew gum a lot.
2. I'm not graceful in any way. I was born with a cursed disturbingly bad memory, so I have to move VERY fast as not to forget my destinations...and I usually rack into things because of this concept.

This time it was the corner of that cursed nightstand. Really hard, in the back of the head. And I had gum in my mouth. And I was in a position where my feet were higher then my head.
That would've been a really sucky way to die. Almost as sucky as that time, after swinging at the local park, where my mom had to get out of the car and wave her hands, yelling for me to stop, before I had the sense to look up from my feet and see that huge, white car.
When I had distintly promised myself I wouldn't do that staring-at-my-feet thing after the other few times similiar, less dangerous, near-death expiriences occured.

It still hurts and the swelling ain't going down. Mom called a prof.; she was told to keep me up for 2 hours from now, then wake me up every 4 hours after I sleep.

I know. I wish I wasn't crazy.
I'll post the poem I wrote after the last time I hit my head on that table.
Current Mood: tiredtired
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
30 December 2006 @ 04:46 pm

I love YouTube...
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
21 December 2006 @ 09:36 am
Another alien-related dream. I--or some guy I'm seeing through the eyes of--is trying to stop these powerful aliens. The last part I can remember is something occured that made me realize my aquiantance I met earlier had already been taken over/replaced/whatever by an alien, so I start repeatedly hitting the alien against the wall of the hotel/whatever I'm in at this point...until I remember they can regenerate themselves, and then I wish I hadn't begun this fight. I chopped it in two and chucked it out the window. I then remembered that that could be undone, too, and the alien could trick his way back up here with the appearance of my aquiantance. My stupidity, I recall, frusterates me.
I have a bad memory in real life, BTW...a really, really, REAAALY bad one. And, apparently, my subconscious knows that.
What a disstressing dream.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
19 December 2006 @ 10:51 am
Alright, so I was papermaching my wire-alien/person/whatever, and, being ADD-prone and all, I started reading one of the articles...It was quite interesting: friends/siblings for some reason telling about this twelve-year-old girl who apparently has always had a great talent, and fondness, for explosives, and she blew up stuff in her backyard...I couldn't read the whole thing as time was rapidly running out in class, but for some reason I wanted to put this in my new online-journal-thingy.

Oh, this is such a pretty song I got off limewire last night...Who knew techno and classical piano could make such a good combo? I wonder who made this?
I'm gonna go see if there's any Mozart on the sharing program, now...

Eck, what's the point of this? It's not like I'd write anything person here, like about my family, as it's on the net...
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: 'Fur Elise (techno remix)' by Bethoveen
Foggy Pebble (Katherine)
18 December 2006 @ 01:38 pm
Yep, my first one. I was raised on the show, but this would be my first one. (About time)
Data had just returned from a planet for some reason, and he was turning invisible or disappearing. There were about two/three instances where he was telling me (as Beverly Crusher's sun) in his robotically autistic way how he figured he was sick and somehow turning invisible, gripping my arm for emphasis/to show that he was really there and not my imagination (the vague part of him that I could still see.) He then ventured left, from where I was. Something was being kept a secret, I sensed. ...Where were we, once he returned to the ship...on my bed...?
Somehow, I heard my nurturing mother's voice from another dimension saying "Aaaw..! Everything seems to happen to Data, doesn't it...??"
Once I woke up, I used the bathroom--it turns out I have mild diarrea. I didn't have a stumach-ache or anything; I don't even know why I went. I fell asleep in the first place 'cause of dizziness...Dizziness feels like the world is rocking you gently, does it not?
I kept trying to wake myself up from it but the dizziness was holding me paralyzed. I think I'm ill; dreams are supposed to have ways of forwarning illness.

...Well. On to Anime Club, now.
Current Mood: exhaustedGotta wake up more